SNAILS EAT WORMS
why yes they do
and it’s fucking terrifying
I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that.
I had a snail phase at one point
My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”
I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.
someone take me out. either in the date way or the assassination way
i am the world’s best dragon slayer. you ever seen a dragon round here? no? you’re welcome.
ok but where did this eyebrow obsession come from. one minute nobody give a fuck what’s on top of ur eyes next minute ur all ravin about eyebrow game
eye have no idea
i wont rest until ive complained about everything
The collective mood of every Hobbit fan come There and Back Again will be “DON’T YOU F***ING TOUCH ME”
Do not approach Hobbit fan at this time
Attempt to blanket them in Tolkienish paraphernalia
recovery will be slow
Allow hobbit fan to sob about their feelings. This will help with recovery.
What the heck happens in There and Back Again? Do I even want to know?
that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.